I had my annual eye appointment today. It was expensive, not having insurance is tough!
Every year, I feel a little bit closer to blind in the doctor's chair. As I waited for him, I held my iPod against my nose to play a game, and I couldn't read almost any of the chart. The crazy part is when he placed the machine against my face and I could see, but could also still see the blurry edges around the machine.
I realized
- I can only see in part. God clarifies the things in my life that need to be seen and sometimes the edges are uncertain and no matter how hard I strain to make them clear they won't be. Paul promises that one day I will see clearly, though.
- focus is only as good as the mechanisms I run my view through. If I am using the wrong point of view, nothing will ever be clear like it could be or should be. Even the smartest wrong thing is still wrong, if that makes sense.
- I am more dependent on my contacts than ever. The doctor laughed and said that as we get older we tend to want less dependence and told me about lasik options. I can't afford lasik, but the real underscore is that I can't afford to not be dependent. The cost of losing a contact is near blindness or wearing my glasses, which makes me realllllly tired. In the same light, trying to do things outside of God leaves me stumbling around blindly, and spiritually worn out.
In a season where I can just feel change coming to my life, some I yearn for, some I'm scared of, and some that area both, I am thankful that I keep seeing hints of what it looks like to allow the lenses of my life to be powered by God. I see in part, but one day I'll see in whole.
3 comments:
I love this blog entry!! I especially like how you said that God clarifies the things in our lives that need to be seen... So true, but for some reason I always want to see the whole picture!! Thank you for sharing your heart and touching ours!!
Today the message at out church was about how we are stuck to our routines for comfort. He talked about how we cling to that routine whether it be in our every day lives or in our faith. It's amazing to me how uncomfortable it is to live life and practice faith in a way that is different to what I am used to. You are living both outside of that comfort right now and because of that you are a role model not only to the kids you serve, but to those around you, including myself. Thanks for that, Zack
dude you are getting old.
just kidding, you're in your prime!
Thanks for being bomb diggity and giving a real life example of genuine trust in Him. That's a rare thing to observe.
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